Not Doing Well

Mom had a wonderful birthday. I can't even begin to try to describe it. I won't go into detail, but it was magical. I think it touched the heart of everyone in the house that day. Mom's mental clarity was good the week of her birthday. We lowered her dose of pain meds. The pain was kept at bay, and her mind greatly improved. One of her best friends came and spent a few days with her. We all went to the lake the weekend of the 20th. Mom got to go on another boatride, and we all really had a wonderful time.

Sadly, a few days after Mom returned, her mental clarity took a turn backwards. Mom was determined to go to the lake this past weekend. We went, but there was no boatride this time. Mom is not doing well. Her quality of life has really declined the past 4 days. She can barely function. She sleeps most all day and night. She isn't eating. She can barely move. I think we may have reached a point where she will spend nearly all her time in bed. We are trying to decide whether to call in home health or hospice. Although she and the family appreciate the sentiment, Mom is not up for visitors. It breaks our hearts to see her struggling. I pray that she doesn't have to suffer any longer.

What to say?

I don't even know where to begin this post. I guess I will start with what all has been happening the past couple of weeks. On the Thursday we received the bad news from the recent PET scan the doctors basically told Mom that the cancer had spread significantly and that she could pursue chemo but the doctor did not recommend she do that. When Mom asked the doctor how long she had left to live, the doctor gave her 3-6 months. I felt like it would be closer to 3 months. Mom is not doing well. Mom has trouble completing a thought. Most times she doesn't even make sense. I thought at first that it was the pain medicine, but over the past week our family no longer thinks that is the case. I do not know if the cancer has spread to the brain. The PET scan is not a scan that detects cancer in the brain. (MRIs are the test that would be used.) If it has not spread to the brain, the disease definitely is affecting it. Her mental decline has happened so fast.

Mom went to the lake the Saturday after receiving the news. She remained there until Wednesday. She says being at the lake is peaceful. I would rather she be at home right now, but it is not about what I want. It is about what this amazing lady wants. Sadly, I don't know how much longer she will be able to make the trip. Mom can barely move. Thursday, she and Ron returned to the doctor. She spoke with her radiologist and then with her oncologist. Again, the doctor advised her against chemo. I don't know what brought about the change in prognosis as far as time, but the doctor told her that she was likely looking at 4-8 weeks. So, at this point, there hasn't been an official decision, but further chemo does appear to be out of the question. It wouldn't change her overall prognosis. I knew that things could change quickly, and it has, but you still aren't prepared for it when it does. She returned to the lake on Friday, and returned home this afternoon. Mom was determined to go on a boat ride. We were able to manage it, and she thoroughly enjoyed it. Her birthday is Wednesday. After that, I have no idea what she will want to do or feel like doing. I just pray that she does not suffer pain. Watching her now is hard enough, I cannot bear to watch her suffer any more.

Mom would like to thank anyone who has said a prayer on her behalf. Even in this nightmare, we praise God. He has been with us through everything and has provided and met our needs. He doesn't always give us what we want, but He knows and gives us what we really need. God didn't give Mom cancer. He wouldn't do that, but He does have the power to cure her. When discussing this subject with someone (and you know who you are), that person said, "Yes, He has the power to cure, but He will only do so if it is for His purpose." So, a cure is not to be, but we will not hold that against Him. This is our temporary home; it's not where we belong. I just know that the place that she is going is beautiful and beyond our wildest imagination. Thanks everyone for everything. Mom has felt your love these past 7 months. It has sustained her through it all. May God bless you and your families.

Heartbroken

Mom came home last Thursday. She returned to Mobile on Tuesday for a PET scan. We went back to Mobile today to get the results. The news is not good. The cancer is spreading. The doctor said that we could try a new chemo; however, the doctor also spoke of quality of life. In short, Mom has a decision to make. An impossible decision. Does she take chemo with the hope that it would help some and give her more time or does she reject further treatment and try to make the best of the time she has left? The doctor said that the chemo could wear her down and diminish her quality of life. It is a decision that only Mom can make. Needless to say, we are devastated. Mom has a lot to think about the next few days. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. After this time we need alone as a family, we look forward to hearing from you.